Topic #1- Farris Update
I went to visit him today and he's doing better. They pulled out the catheter and he's urinating on his own without straining. So they will keep him one more day for observation to be sure he doesn't block up again. Heaven help us. But we were all snuggled up today and he looked alot better. And I feel better, therefore. Since I'm going to be in Canada all week, I'm a little stressed about not being home for him. But what can I do? I just hope he can come home tomorrow.
Topic #2 - MacSuds is done.
I call it MacSuds because the goddamn play is cursed. At least, this production was. For those who don't know the history of Macbeth: Macbeth is considered a cursed play, because every time someone does a production of it, there is usually great big huge problems and catastrophes. And I mean every time. I'm talking scenery crashing and people dying and theaters burning etc. It's so pervasive that you are not allowed to utter the word "Macbeth" in any theater. If you need to refer to "Macbeth", you call it "The Scottish Play". (Here's a small bit of info on it)
That said, this show has been cursed from day one, and I call it MacSuds, the Rochester-ish Play. From the start with a music director who flaked out after the first week, to such small houses that most of the shows were cancelled, to Mt. Gretna(and while we had great houses and shows there, you've all read about the rampant incompetence ballying about there). Then there was the actress who developed vocal problems.
And now, this final weekend in Geneva, at the Smith Opera House, which has 1200 seats. Opening night-35 people. Second night - 27 people. Third night: Actor has such bad back spasms that he can barely walk and has to go to the emergency room. They pump him full of muscle relaxers. So what to do? Well, stupid theater hasn't provided for any understudies. The theater honcho says there are 200 tickets sold, we're aren't cancelling the show.
So an hour and a half before the show, they call the dude from Rochester who did the show last year to come in a fill in. Jump in on a role he hasn't done in 8 months, has many new songs he doesn't know, different blocking and choreography, and actors who haven't had any rehearsal with the new guy. Just come in and get on stage. The actors were livid. So they have to go to the theater early and begin reblocking and restaging, and the band has to cut certain songs and change some endings. The new guy will do the parts that require lots of dancing and moving, and the regular actor will do the rest. The show starts 20 minutes late. The intermission lasts forever. An 8:00 show ends at nearly 11:00. And guess what. Big lies, there were only 75 people in the audience. The show is a mess and sucks big moose wang.
So today, our last show, they say do the same thing! For the 47 people sitting in the theater. Now, 47 people in a little cabaret room is great. 47 people in a 1200 seat hall is miserable. It's like they're not even out there. We all couldn't wait to be done. Everyone had a bad attitude and we all packed up so friggin' fast. I struck my gear and had it packed in my car in 20 minutes, and I was out of there so fast.
I wish I could tell you all the rest of the crap that went on, but there's so much of it, it's just impossible. I'm just glad it's over. But we all did decide that in some past life we were all involved with some hideous, horrible, heinous deed and were all forced together for this show to pay back a karmic debt. I think we have a karmic credit now.
Topic #3 - Canada
Going tomorrow. Will be gone all week! So, I'll not blog til the weekend. Bye!
Sunday, July 27, 2003
Saturday, July 26, 2003
I guess they got their money's worth...
I gave the suck-assiest concert last night ever. I was so preoccupied about Farris who is still in the hospital. Had to transfer him from one hospital to another yesterday and it took most of the day. And I am so worried about him. Not so much about his physical health, but his mental state. He really is a very fragile little kitty. And it's stressing me beyond belief.
So I was forgetting lyrics and chords and I didn't have a set list and didn't have any witty repartee and I was not in very good voice--sang rather reserved. But it was a free concert, so I don't feel too bad. On the bright side, I got asked out on a date. One that I will actually accept!
Send Farris good mojo, please.
I gave the suck-assiest concert last night ever. I was so preoccupied about Farris who is still in the hospital. Had to transfer him from one hospital to another yesterday and it took most of the day. And I am so worried about him. Not so much about his physical health, but his mental state. He really is a very fragile little kitty. And it's stressing me beyond belief.
So I was forgetting lyrics and chords and I didn't have a set list and didn't have any witty repartee and I was not in very good voice--sang rather reserved. But it was a free concert, so I don't feel too bad. On the bright side, I got asked out on a date. One that I will actually accept!
Send Farris good mojo, please.
Friday, July 25, 2003
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Camera Update
Remember the Kodak correspondence with Kodak regarding my camera? (You don't? Click here to read it). Well, I got a reply back from them! Groveling bastards...
Thank you for your recent email.
After reviewing the information you provided, we suggest that you call
our online team for help in getting your camera repaired. They may be
able to either resolve the issue directly or provide information on
having the unit repaired (cost information, shipping instructions, etc).
If repair is necessary, they will assign a reference code to your
camera. Please call 1-800-235-6325 between our hours of operation - 9AM to 8PM
EST.
Remember the Kodak correspondence with Kodak regarding my camera? (You don't? Click here to read it). Well, I got a reply back from them! Groveling bastards...
Thank you for your recent email.
After reviewing the information you provided, we suggest that you call
our online team for help in getting your camera repaired. They may be
able to either resolve the issue directly or provide information on
having the unit repaired (cost information, shipping instructions, etc).
If repair is necessary, they will assign a reference code to your
camera. Please call 1-800-235-6325 between our hours of operation - 9AM to 8PM
EST.
More Kitty Woes
Farris is in the hospital AGAIN with bladder problems. He has to stay two nights. I think I really am gonna have to start the Puddy Fund now. It cost me 3K to save Puddy 2 years ago, and now Farris has cost me 1 grand in the last month. For all this money, these damn cats better learn how to vacuum and make my bed.
Farris is in the hospital AGAIN with bladder problems. He has to stay two nights. I think I really am gonna have to start the Puddy Fund now. It cost me 3K to save Puddy 2 years ago, and now Farris has cost me 1 grand in the last month. For all this money, these damn cats better learn how to vacuum and make my bed.
Monday, July 21, 2003
Suds Tour Stories
Ya know, I have alot to say today, apparently. So keep scrolling, because I have 2 new posts before this one. But I HAD to tell you this story before I forget!
We were, as you know, in the middle of friggin nowhere, so we drove to the next town, Lebanon, to get food and a few other things. In the K-Mart Plaza there was the "Christian Light Bookstore"! HAHAHAHAHHA! It's the diet version of christianity, for those who aren't fundamentalists! "I can't believe it's not God!" "Not sure what you believe? Try Christian Light! It goes down easier, and without the bloat!"
Ya know, I have alot to say today, apparently. So keep scrolling, because I have 2 new posts before this one. But I HAD to tell you this story before I forget!
We were, as you know, in the middle of friggin nowhere, so we drove to the next town, Lebanon, to get food and a few other things. In the K-Mart Plaza there was the "Christian Light Bookstore"! HAHAHAHAHHA! It's the diet version of christianity, for those who aren't fundamentalists! "I can't believe it's not God!" "Not sure what you believe? Try Christian Light! It goes down easier, and without the bloat!"
More Tests!
HAHAHAHA! I retook the gay test and scored 67%. A small improvement, but still not good enough. Apparently my downfall is that I'm a lipstick lesbian who likes same.
So it's 1:00 a.m. and I'm just taking these stupid tests and I'm gonna tell you all about them.
The death test: I will die April 2, 2032 at age 69, most likely from cancer.
The Pickup test, which tells how pickup-able you are. The answer was so friggin hysterical I am printing it here verbatim:
What's up frigidaire. You are 24% pickup-able! You're cold and unapproachable, like a big glacier that's unapproachable. And cold. Unlike the Arctic tundra, few even venture to plant their flag in you. You're definitely not a Scorpio, unless you were born between October 23 and November 21. The bad news is that you'll end up miserable and alone, probably knitting doilies out of cat hair. The good news is that this is apparently what you want.
I took the Purity Test and the Slut test in Gretna, and I don't remember exactly my scores, but I was something like 72% Pure, and 40% slut.
The Gender Test: This test guesses your gender, and while they did in fact, guess correctly, according to the chart they showed me, I was dead center between male and female. The fact that I knew that clams are, in fact, living creatures, was the deciding factor. Apparently, most men don't know this. Go figure.
The stress test: Apparently I'm only 25% stressed. To quote them: Quite likely, you are lazy and retarded. Well, I answered no to every question pertaining to "school" and "children". And since I don't have a "boss" I had to answer no to those questions too. Perhaps they should have asked "Are you a mediocre, middle-aged folksinger who has just maxed out three credit cards to put out a vanity CD?" "Are you a middle-aged divorced woman who lives with her mother?" And another good one: "Do people expect you to work for free?" They DID ask if I had an orgasm in the last week, but perhaps the follow up question should have been "Were you alone?"
The Pregnancy Test! HAHAHAHA! It says I'll have 4 children, even though I told it I was 40. Dumbasses.
The Un-Intelligence Test: I am "normal" at 61% Un-intelligent. Here's what it said:
"You are moderate but excitingly different:
"The subject shows a very high level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.
"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence. (But I did say I would pack heat if threatened!)
"Finally, the subject displayed a poor (and a little bit boring) sense of humor, a fair and productive sense of morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."
A boring sense of humor. Well, I tried to answer the questions honestly, what can I say. And the only reason I won't pick a violent solution to a problem is because I'm WEAKER THAN A GNAT, and would totally lose in any fight. I'm not an idiot, ya know, as this test proves....
Guess I'll go to bed and stop being such a loser.
HAHAHAHA! I retook the gay test and scored 67%. A small improvement, but still not good enough. Apparently my downfall is that I'm a lipstick lesbian who likes same.
So it's 1:00 a.m. and I'm just taking these stupid tests and I'm gonna tell you all about them.
The death test: I will die April 2, 2032 at age 69, most likely from cancer.
The Pickup test, which tells how pickup-able you are. The answer was so friggin hysterical I am printing it here verbatim:
What's up frigidaire. You are 24% pickup-able! You're cold and unapproachable, like a big glacier that's unapproachable. And cold. Unlike the Arctic tundra, few even venture to plant their flag in you. You're definitely not a Scorpio, unless you were born between October 23 and November 21. The bad news is that you'll end up miserable and alone, probably knitting doilies out of cat hair. The good news is that this is apparently what you want.
I took the Purity Test and the Slut test in Gretna, and I don't remember exactly my scores, but I was something like 72% Pure, and 40% slut.
The Gender Test: This test guesses your gender, and while they did in fact, guess correctly, according to the chart they showed me, I was dead center between male and female. The fact that I knew that clams are, in fact, living creatures, was the deciding factor. Apparently, most men don't know this. Go figure.
The stress test: Apparently I'm only 25% stressed. To quote them: Quite likely, you are lazy and retarded. Well, I answered no to every question pertaining to "school" and "children". And since I don't have a "boss" I had to answer no to those questions too. Perhaps they should have asked "Are you a mediocre, middle-aged folksinger who has just maxed out three credit cards to put out a vanity CD?" "Are you a middle-aged divorced woman who lives with her mother?" And another good one: "Do people expect you to work for free?" They DID ask if I had an orgasm in the last week, but perhaps the follow up question should have been "Were you alone?"
The Pregnancy Test! HAHAHAHA! It says I'll have 4 children, even though I told it I was 40. Dumbasses.
The Un-Intelligence Test: I am "normal" at 61% Un-intelligent. Here's what it said:
"You are moderate but excitingly different:
"The subject shows a very high level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.
"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence. (But I did say I would pack heat if threatened!)
"Finally, the subject displayed a poor (and a little bit boring) sense of humor, a fair and productive sense of morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."
A boring sense of humor. Well, I tried to answer the questions honestly, what can I say. And the only reason I won't pick a violent solution to a problem is because I'm WEAKER THAN A GNAT, and would totally lose in any fight. I'm not an idiot, ya know, as this test proves....
Guess I'll go to bed and stop being such a loser.
I'm not a moron, but apparently I play one on TV
So my Kodak digital camera isn't working. So living right here in Rochester I figure I can get some good help with it right? So I send off a quick email to their Technical Support:
Question: The camera has been locking up, and the pictures are discolored and distorted as well. These issues are different that what was in your support/technical service bulletins. The photos come out completely discolored and also have red horizontal lines through them. I changed the memory card and had the same problem. Please advise.
And I get THIS response:
Greetings Leah,
There could be many reasons why the pictures seem a bit soft and out of
focus. I suggest you place the camera on a table or other stable
surface and use the Self-Timer feature. This will eliminate any
possible camera shake while the picture is taken.
When you are going to take pictures while holding the camera, a good
stance is important in getting a good picture. Stand with your legs
about two feet apart with your arms close to your sides. Hold the
camera comfortably, but in a way that is not blocking the flash or the
meter of the camera. If you are going to take a picture using the
viewfinder, keep this stance and bring the camera gently to your
forehead. View the image with both eyes open if you are using the
viewfinder and compose the picture. When you are ready to snap the
shutter, press the shutter half way to set the camera mechanics for
exposure. When ready to capture the image, do it slowly, yet
deliberately, avoiding any jerky motions. Note: Digital cameras take
just a split second longer to capture the picture so keep your position
for just a second longer than you would with a film camera. This will
help you prevent blurring due to removing the camera from the picture
taking stance too soon.
(Bitter note: You get the point and can scroll down to read my reply...but if you really want to laugh, keep reading...)
If you are going to use the view-screen to preview your composition, use
the same techniques as noted, but do not hold the camera to your
forehead. It will be a bit more difficult to keep a good stance, as you
will not have the option of steadying the camera against your forehead.
So, to limit blur, lean against a wall, rest your elbows, or use some
other object, if possible. Try to rest your arms on something in front
of you. The object here, is to make sure you have the support to steady
the camera and prevent camera movement during exposure.
If the images are clear, and sharp, using the self timer, consider this
process each time you take a picture. It will soon become second nature
to you. If this does not help, attach 2-3 sample images, directly from
the camera without editing, to your reply of this e-mail. We will
analyze them and get back to you as soon as possible.
Regards,
Annalyn A.
KODAK Information and Technical Support
So I just sent them back THIS response to their response:
Well, gee whiz, thanks for this completely useless and unrelated answer to
my problem. You've obviously mistaken me for a moron who doesn't know how to
take pictures, and doesn't know the difference between a blurry photo and a
camera that is malfunctioning, inasmuch as my question mentioned a locking
up problem, and discolored and "distorted" photos (not blurry). And I won't
worry about this email offending the reader, since it appears that a
computer searching for keywords probably sent me an automatic answer.
Clearly no human read my question, or I wouldn't have received such an
idiotic answer. But in the event a human reads this one and cares to respond
properly to my question, I'll be glad to apologize for my curt response at
that time.
So my Kodak digital camera isn't working. So living right here in Rochester I figure I can get some good help with it right? So I send off a quick email to their Technical Support:
Question: The camera has been locking up, and the pictures are discolored and distorted as well. These issues are different that what was in your support/technical service bulletins. The photos come out completely discolored and also have red horizontal lines through them. I changed the memory card and had the same problem. Please advise.
And I get THIS response:
Greetings Leah,
There could be many reasons why the pictures seem a bit soft and out of
focus. I suggest you place the camera on a table or other stable
surface and use the Self-Timer feature. This will eliminate any
possible camera shake while the picture is taken.
When you are going to take pictures while holding the camera, a good
stance is important in getting a good picture. Stand with your legs
about two feet apart with your arms close to your sides. Hold the
camera comfortably, but in a way that is not blocking the flash or the
meter of the camera. If you are going to take a picture using the
viewfinder, keep this stance and bring the camera gently to your
forehead. View the image with both eyes open if you are using the
viewfinder and compose the picture. When you are ready to snap the
shutter, press the shutter half way to set the camera mechanics for
exposure. When ready to capture the image, do it slowly, yet
deliberately, avoiding any jerky motions. Note: Digital cameras take
just a split second longer to capture the picture so keep your position
for just a second longer than you would with a film camera. This will
help you prevent blurring due to removing the camera from the picture
taking stance too soon.
(Bitter note: You get the point and can scroll down to read my reply...but if you really want to laugh, keep reading...)
If you are going to use the view-screen to preview your composition, use
the same techniques as noted, but do not hold the camera to your
forehead. It will be a bit more difficult to keep a good stance, as you
will not have the option of steadying the camera against your forehead.
So, to limit blur, lean against a wall, rest your elbows, or use some
other object, if possible. Try to rest your arms on something in front
of you. The object here, is to make sure you have the support to steady
the camera and prevent camera movement during exposure.
If the images are clear, and sharp, using the self timer, consider this
process each time you take a picture. It will soon become second nature
to you. If this does not help, attach 2-3 sample images, directly from
the camera without editing, to your reply of this e-mail. We will
analyze them and get back to you as soon as possible.
Regards,
Annalyn A.
KODAK Information and Technical Support
So I just sent them back THIS response to their response:
Well, gee whiz, thanks for this completely useless and unrelated answer to
my problem. You've obviously mistaken me for a moron who doesn't know how to
take pictures, and doesn't know the difference between a blurry photo and a
camera that is malfunctioning, inasmuch as my question mentioned a locking
up problem, and discolored and "distorted" photos (not blurry). And I won't
worry about this email offending the reader, since it appears that a
computer searching for keywords probably sent me an automatic answer.
Clearly no human read my question, or I wouldn't have received such an
idiotic answer. But in the event a human reads this one and cares to respond
properly to my question, I'll be glad to apologize for my curt response at
that time.
Sunday, July 20, 2003
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Now Leaving Mt. Gretna
And not a fucking moment too soon!!!! As soon as I get back I am going to blog soooo hard about this place, so that some day somone will be doing a google search on Mt. Gretna, and I will be able to give them the important information. But in a nutshell: If you're retired and have nothing better to do, go. If you're under 50, if you like options in life, or if you have ANY Gemini influence, go somewhere else. If you want to visit a Chautauqua, go to the source: The Chautauqua Institute in Chautauqua, NY, instead of this cheesy knockoff.
And not a fucking moment too soon!!!! As soon as I get back I am going to blog soooo hard about this place, so that some day somone will be doing a google search on Mt. Gretna, and I will be able to give them the important information. But in a nutshell: If you're retired and have nothing better to do, go. If you're under 50, if you like options in life, or if you have ANY Gemini influence, go somewhere else. If you want to visit a Chautauqua, go to the source: The Chautauqua Institute in Chautauqua, NY, instead of this cheesy knockoff.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Get me out of this fucking hellhole
There's a new patch of land that's been dug up, and piles of sod they're going to lay down. And some old lady today asked me if I knew what used to be there in that spot that was dug up. And I said it's the sacred burial grounds where they buried the bodies of the people who died of boredom while at this place.
There's a new patch of land that's been dug up, and piles of sod they're going to lay down. And some old lady today asked me if I knew what used to be there in that spot that was dug up. And I said it's the sacred burial grounds where they buried the bodies of the people who died of boredom while at this place.
Saturday, July 12, 2003
That does it.
Okay, well now I'm totally pissed about that Spark.com gay test. HOW COME EVERY PERSON WHO'S EVER SLEPT WITH MULTIPLE NUMBERS OF MEN IS STILL MORE GAY THAN I AM, WHEN I'VE NEVER, EVER, NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MAN??? JUST WHAT EXACTLY IS THE FRIGGIN' CRITERIA FOR BEING A LESBIAN THEN? HOW MUCH MORE LESBIAN CAN YA GET?
god dammit.
And just exactly where are my archives?
Okay, well now I'm totally pissed about that Spark.com gay test. HOW COME EVERY PERSON WHO'S EVER SLEPT WITH MULTIPLE NUMBERS OF MEN IS STILL MORE GAY THAN I AM, WHEN I'VE NEVER, EVER, NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MAN??? JUST WHAT EXACTLY IS THE FRIGGIN' CRITERIA FOR BEING A LESBIAN THEN? HOW MUCH MORE LESBIAN CAN YA GET?
god dammit.
And just exactly where are my archives?
Friday, July 11, 2003
Hell in Paradise
Now, you're all thinking, boy, that Leah can find the crap in everything! I'm sitting here in Mt. Gretna, PA. It's a little arts community patterned after the Chatauqua Institute in Chatauqua, NY, right there nearby little ol' Buffalo. Chatauqua was founded in 1874, a small community based on the enrichment of Arts and Sciences and Religion. After them, about 200 such "Chatauquas" were formed. Well, Mt. Gretna is one, but it's not so swanky as Chatauqua. It's literally a 1/2 mile stretch of road with no lights, no hotels, not even a stop sign. On the main land is the Theater, where Suds is playing (I'm in the pit), a little antique shop, an ice cream shop, it's own post office, and a library the size of your living room. Then there are many many houses built in the hills behind it, all connected by paths. But one year they decided to pave the paths and put little street signs on them, so all the tourists could figure out where the heck to go.
So what's the problem with this relaxing, idyllic setting? Well, while it's nice to sit here with nothing to do all day but play the show for a few hours each night and get paid, the problem is that THERE IS NOTHING TO DO! There's no cell phone service, nobody has a computer (save for this one I found at the theater, thank god), there's ONE deli and ONE restaurant. There are no shops. If I need something I have to drive miles away. I'm sorry, but I don't find it relaxing when I can't get work done or make calls or run to the store for whatever I need. I don't find it relaxing when I have nothing to do. Idle time makes me neurotic. Sure, I'm writing and working on my CD, but I can only do that for so many hours in one day.
And the house I'm staying in is disgusting, that's all I'm saying. Moldy shower curtains, everything is musty, mildewy and stinky, dust and cobwebs everywhere. There's mouse shit on my dresser. I don't mind mice. I mind mouse shit sitting next to my toothbrush. If you allow your house to be rented, you should clean it, n'est pas? I had to buy my own toilet paper, I was given only one towel, and the washer and dryer don't work. Can I get clean sheets maybe? Who knows. Oh! And the only bar in town has assholes for bartenders. So bad, that even THE BAND won't go in there anymore. We bought our own beer (but we had to drive to the next town and search a half hour for it because you can only buy beer in beer stores and most close after 9:00 p.m.)
Me and two of the divas went to Harrisburg today, just for some civilization. Took us an hour to get there, too, but it was nice. Our cell phones worked, and we all made phone calls just on principle.
Well, I guess that's enough bitching for now. Someone else wants to use the computer. Remind me to tell you about Puddy's birthday (grandma spoiled her). And remind me to tell you how bitter I am about TheSpark's Gay Test.
Miss you!!!
Now, you're all thinking, boy, that Leah can find the crap in everything! I'm sitting here in Mt. Gretna, PA. It's a little arts community patterned after the Chatauqua Institute in Chatauqua, NY, right there nearby little ol' Buffalo. Chatauqua was founded in 1874, a small community based on the enrichment of Arts and Sciences and Religion. After them, about 200 such "Chatauquas" were formed. Well, Mt. Gretna is one, but it's not so swanky as Chatauqua. It's literally a 1/2 mile stretch of road with no lights, no hotels, not even a stop sign. On the main land is the Theater, where Suds is playing (I'm in the pit), a little antique shop, an ice cream shop, it's own post office, and a library the size of your living room. Then there are many many houses built in the hills behind it, all connected by paths. But one year they decided to pave the paths and put little street signs on them, so all the tourists could figure out where the heck to go.
So what's the problem with this relaxing, idyllic setting? Well, while it's nice to sit here with nothing to do all day but play the show for a few hours each night and get paid, the problem is that THERE IS NOTHING TO DO! There's no cell phone service, nobody has a computer (save for this one I found at the theater, thank god), there's ONE deli and ONE restaurant. There are no shops. If I need something I have to drive miles away. I'm sorry, but I don't find it relaxing when I can't get work done or make calls or run to the store for whatever I need. I don't find it relaxing when I have nothing to do. Idle time makes me neurotic. Sure, I'm writing and working on my CD, but I can only do that for so many hours in one day.
And the house I'm staying in is disgusting, that's all I'm saying. Moldy shower curtains, everything is musty, mildewy and stinky, dust and cobwebs everywhere. There's mouse shit on my dresser. I don't mind mice. I mind mouse shit sitting next to my toothbrush. If you allow your house to be rented, you should clean it, n'est pas? I had to buy my own toilet paper, I was given only one towel, and the washer and dryer don't work. Can I get clean sheets maybe? Who knows. Oh! And the only bar in town has assholes for bartenders. So bad, that even THE BAND won't go in there anymore. We bought our own beer (but we had to drive to the next town and search a half hour for it because you can only buy beer in beer stores and most close after 9:00 p.m.)
Me and two of the divas went to Harrisburg today, just for some civilization. Took us an hour to get there, too, but it was nice. Our cell phones worked, and we all made phone calls just on principle.
Well, I guess that's enough bitching for now. Someone else wants to use the computer. Remind me to tell you about Puddy's birthday (grandma spoiled her). And remind me to tell you how bitter I am about TheSpark's Gay Test.
Miss you!!!
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Sunday, July 06, 2003
Must be Aliens
My computer is still possessed, now my digital camera is fucking up, and my guitar processor is getting quirky. I'm in electronics hell over here.
I'm on the road for most of July, so I won't see y'all for a couple of weeks. This is another theater tour. Not a national tour like Copa, but a tour nonetheless. I got a bad feeling about this, money wise. I just have this feeling I'm gonna get screwed out of money by these people. They won't give me or any of the musicians a contract. It's a "gentlemen's agreement". Well, we'll see how much of a gentleman the executive director is.
Gotta go. Still packing at this ridiculous hour. Ciao!
My computer is still possessed, now my digital camera is fucking up, and my guitar processor is getting quirky. I'm in electronics hell over here.
I'm on the road for most of July, so I won't see y'all for a couple of weeks. This is another theater tour. Not a national tour like Copa, but a tour nonetheless. I got a bad feeling about this, money wise. I just have this feeling I'm gonna get screwed out of money by these people. They won't give me or any of the musicians a contract. It's a "gentlemen's agreement". Well, we'll see how much of a gentleman the executive director is.
Gotta go. Still packing at this ridiculous hour. Ciao!
Thursday, July 03, 2003
Female Trouble
So I was talking to a friend the other night and she was having female trouble. You know, trouble with the ladies....one in particlular. All angsty and stuff. You know that feeling... oy. Then she was telling me all the details and I said to her, girl, if you think you got female trouble just pining over her, you'll have double trouble if you hook up with her! Stay away, girl, she's bad news.
And speaking of female trouble, while we were talking I sneezed really hard, because it's allergy season, and my buddy asked "Do you pee a little when you sneeze that hard?" And I said, "No, but I just blew my tampon out!" I know, I know! TMI. Well, whatever! The topic is female trouble!
So I was talking to a friend the other night and she was having female trouble. You know, trouble with the ladies....one in particlular. All angsty and stuff. You know that feeling... oy. Then she was telling me all the details and I said to her, girl, if you think you got female trouble just pining over her, you'll have double trouble if you hook up with her! Stay away, girl, she's bad news.
And speaking of female trouble, while we were talking I sneezed really hard, because it's allergy season, and my buddy asked "Do you pee a little when you sneeze that hard?" And I said, "No, but I just blew my tampon out!" I know, I know! TMI. Well, whatever! The topic is female trouble!
Glorious Gig
What a gorgeous day it was yesterday. The goddesses were taking pity on me and shining down their good mojo unto me. I was booked to play at the M&T Plaza Noontime Series. During the summer M&T Bank has live outdoor entertainment at its headquarters every day at noon. So my band played and it was just the most perfect weather. They were having a dog show at the same time, too! They say never play against animals and children, but it was okay. The plaza was jammed and I was happy to see some people wearing my T-shirts or stickers they'd gotten from previous gigs. I also got to see alot of the people I used to deal with when I worked as a process server: law clerks, attorneys, the folks from the county clerk's office. A bunch of pals showed up too, including Jessica and Amanda. I even wore a dress!
After the show a bunch of young girls came up and asked me for autographs. Too cute. My friend Tom gave me a chocolate bar during the set, which was melted beyond recognition by the end of the set. And some chick gave me the ugliest, most hideous quasi-macrame wall hanging... whatever...I don't know what the fuck it is. I just know it's god-awful.
Afterward I caught up with my friend Liz who had a baby in November and it's the first time I got to see her. She is adorable, and has a great temperment. Her name is Katie and she's a Sag with a Leo rising and Scorpio moon. Not that you asked. Then I went home a changed, grabbed a quick bite at Spot Coffee, where I ran into my old pal Hilda.
Then I had a recording session! I was asked by this guy I know to lay down a vocal track for a recording he's doing. They're a polka band and they wanted to put a country waltz on the CD. So I spent the afternoon with a bunch of fun-loving, big fat polish guys. There was also a bottle of 50-year-old Christian Brothers brandy, my favorite. Sooooooo smooooooooth!
After the session I met up with Jessica and Amanda and their buddies and we had the most fun! They're a rowdy bunch of girls, and we whooped it up and just laughed our asses off all night. We started at the new bar, Q. Come to find out I know three of the five owners. And d'ya think they'd give me my club soda for free? No. Not that I paid for a single drink all night because these girls were all very generous. Thanks for the drinks, sistahs! And not for nothin', but let me say that Q is doomed for failure. My reasons are a dissertation in itself, so I won't bother. Just mark my words.
Then we went to Friends where my old buddy Paul was tending. He's a damn trip. We hung there most of the time, until we decided to go to Fugazi's, which now has decided it hates lesbians, and it's misogynistic owner is doing everything it can to keep the lesbians out, like now calling it a "Gentlemans (sic) Club", and threatening to remove the pool table. Well, this lesbian would at least know how to spell "Gentlemen's" in its frickin ad. So we all headed over there just to be rowdy, obnoxious lesbians and make a scene, and NOT buy any booze. We headed for the pool table immediately, but the bartender was sharp. He proofed Jessica, who, of course, doesn't have a fake ID. (Why not?) So we had to leave.
We headed back to Friends where we played dirty video games and I danced to "They Can't Take That Away From Me" with my old theater pal Michael. We had a hard time figuring out who was leading, but once I let him be the butch, it all worked out.
So this is no great, exciting story, I know. But it was a great day - nice weather, a good gig that paid me well, seeing many, many old friends all day, meeting new ones, and relaxing during a beautiful evening. What makes this such a story is that I didn't rant or complain at all, and how often does that happen, I ask you?
What a gorgeous day it was yesterday. The goddesses were taking pity on me and shining down their good mojo unto me. I was booked to play at the M&T Plaza Noontime Series. During the summer M&T Bank has live outdoor entertainment at its headquarters every day at noon. So my band played and it was just the most perfect weather. They were having a dog show at the same time, too! They say never play against animals and children, but it was okay. The plaza was jammed and I was happy to see some people wearing my T-shirts or stickers they'd gotten from previous gigs. I also got to see alot of the people I used to deal with when I worked as a process server: law clerks, attorneys, the folks from the county clerk's office. A bunch of pals showed up too, including Jessica and Amanda. I even wore a dress!
After the show a bunch of young girls came up and asked me for autographs. Too cute. My friend Tom gave me a chocolate bar during the set, which was melted beyond recognition by the end of the set. And some chick gave me the ugliest, most hideous quasi-macrame wall hanging... whatever...I don't know what the fuck it is. I just know it's god-awful.
Afterward I caught up with my friend Liz who had a baby in November and it's the first time I got to see her. She is adorable, and has a great temperment. Her name is Katie and she's a Sag with a Leo rising and Scorpio moon. Not that you asked. Then I went home a changed, grabbed a quick bite at Spot Coffee, where I ran into my old pal Hilda.
Then I had a recording session! I was asked by this guy I know to lay down a vocal track for a recording he's doing. They're a polka band and they wanted to put a country waltz on the CD. So I spent the afternoon with a bunch of fun-loving, big fat polish guys. There was also a bottle of 50-year-old Christian Brothers brandy, my favorite. Sooooooo smooooooooth!
After the session I met up with Jessica and Amanda and their buddies and we had the most fun! They're a rowdy bunch of girls, and we whooped it up and just laughed our asses off all night. We started at the new bar, Q. Come to find out I know three of the five owners. And d'ya think they'd give me my club soda for free? No. Not that I paid for a single drink all night because these girls were all very generous. Thanks for the drinks, sistahs! And not for nothin', but let me say that Q is doomed for failure. My reasons are a dissertation in itself, so I won't bother. Just mark my words.
Then we went to Friends where my old buddy Paul was tending. He's a damn trip. We hung there most of the time, until we decided to go to Fugazi's, which now has decided it hates lesbians, and it's misogynistic owner is doing everything it can to keep the lesbians out, like now calling it a "Gentlemans (sic) Club", and threatening to remove the pool table. Well, this lesbian would at least know how to spell "Gentlemen's" in its frickin ad. So we all headed over there just to be rowdy, obnoxious lesbians and make a scene, and NOT buy any booze. We headed for the pool table immediately, but the bartender was sharp. He proofed Jessica, who, of course, doesn't have a fake ID. (Why not?) So we had to leave.
We headed back to Friends where we played dirty video games and I danced to "They Can't Take That Away From Me" with my old theater pal Michael. We had a hard time figuring out who was leading, but once I let him be the butch, it all worked out.
So this is no great, exciting story, I know. But it was a great day - nice weather, a good gig that paid me well, seeing many, many old friends all day, meeting new ones, and relaxing during a beautiful evening. What makes this such a story is that I didn't rant or complain at all, and how often does that happen, I ask you?
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